What is Modesty?

R.A. Sterling
5 min readJan 5, 2025

Modesty, contrary to what is commonly believed, has very little to do with the way we dress. For centuries, society has equated modesty with physical appearance, specifically the idea that modest clothing is a sign of moral and virtuous behavior. This misguided notion has often been used to impose rules and expectations on women, particularly in terms of how they should cover their bodies. But in truth, modesty is not about clothing at all. It is an attitude, an internal quality that is expressed through humility, kindness, and self-awareness. Modesty, at its core, is a mental state, not a physical one.

Photo by Evie S. on Unsplash

The conflation of modesty with how someone dresses, especially when it comes to women, has often been used as a tool to control behavior and enforce social norms. By focusing on outward appearances, society has given the impression that modesty can be dictated by the amount of clothing one wears. This assumption fails to recognize that modesty, in its true sense, is not about covering up the body but about embodying a humble and respectful mindset.

Modesty is an Attitude, Not a Physical Trait

Modesty is fundamentally about humility. It is the opposite of arrogance and boastfulness, and it manifests in how we view ourselves and others. Modesty is the conscious decision to downplay one’s own achievements, appearance, or status. It is about recognizing that we are no better than anyone else and that our worth is not defined by our external accomplishments or the way we present ourselves to the world. Humility comes from within, and it is expressed through our actions, words, and thoughts. It does not require us to dress a certain way, but rather to be mindful of our attitude toward others and ourselves.

When modesty is thought of in terms of physical appearance, it often becomes a means of social control, especially for women. The imposition of modest clothing standards is not rooted in a true understanding of modesty; instead, it is often a reflection of a desire to police women’s bodies and behaviors. By suggesting that modesty is tied to how much skin is covered, society fails to address the real essence of modesty, which is a reflection of one’s character rather than their external appearance.

The Bushido Code and the True Meaning of Modesty

The concept of modesty as humility is not new. In fact, cultures throughout history have recognized the importance of modesty as an internal quality. One example of this is Japan’s Bushido code, which governed the behavior of samurais and emphasized virtues such as honor, integrity, and humility. The Bushido code taught that modesty was not about outward appearances but about the cultivation of a humble and virtuous character. In this way, true modesty is connected to one’s actions, values, and spirit, not to the clothes one wears.

The samurai, who were expected to live according to this code, understood that modesty involved being humble in both thought and deed. They practiced modesty by living with integrity, showing respect for others, and remaining humble despite their skills, rank, and achievements. This illustrates that modesty is far more about internal qualities than external presentations. The Bushido code reminds us that true modesty is not determined by the way one dresses or presents themselves to the world but by how one behaves, thinks, and interacts with others.

The Misconception of Modesty and Clothing

The modern-day obsession with “modest fashion” has only served to deepen the misconception that modesty is something that can be defined by clothing choices. People who wear clothes that cover their bodies, often with the intention of conforming to modesty standards, can still be arrogant or boastful in their attitudes. A person who dresses in a full veil, for example, might still carry an air of superiority or self-righteousness, which is the very opposite of modesty. Modesty cannot be measured by the amount of skin exposed or the amount of fabric used to cover the body. Modesty is about how we treat others, how we value humility over ego, and how we let go of the need to boast or show off.

In contrast, someone who is completely naked, stripped of all clothing and external adornments, can still be modest. In fact, there is a purity to being naked that reflects the essence of modesty. When we remove all layers, we are left with nothing to hide behind. There are no clothes, no designer labels, no status markers to distinguish one person from another. We are reduced to the simplest form of ourselves, and in that vulnerability, there is a profound sense of humility. Being naked allows a person to embrace their natural state without arrogance, showing that modesty is ultimately about our spirit and mindset, not our external appearance.

The Power of Modesty Beyond the Physical

There is nothing more modest than being naked because in that state, there is no room for pride or arrogance. The naked body holds no power over others, and it does not demand attention. It is a humble expression of our humanity, reminding us that we are all fundamentally the same. Modesty, in this sense, is about acknowledging our shared human experience and treating others with kindness and respect. A person who is truly modest does not feel the need to draw attention to their body or their achievements. They are content in their own skin and are focused on the well-being of others rather than seeking external validation.

Modesty, when viewed through this lens, becomes a form of self-awareness and self-control. It is about understanding that our value is not in how we look or how much we own, but in how we treat others and how we carry ourselves in the world. Modesty is the practice of letting go of the ego and embracing humility. It is an invitation to connect more deeply with others, free from the distractions of materialism or self-centeredness.

The Impact of Modest Fashion on Women’s Lives: A Critical Look at Hijab, Burka, Burkini, and Other Forms of Modest Fashion Paperback Book available here: https://a.co/d/e0shm0R

Modesty is an Inner Quality

Modesty is not about clothing or appearance; it is about the heart and mind. Modesty is an attitude, not a physical trait. It is about being humble, treating others with respect, and recognizing that our worth does not come from our external accomplishments or the way we present ourselves to the world. Modesty is an internal quality, one that arises from self-awareness and humility. By separating modesty from superficial standards of dress and appearance, we can begin to understand its true meaning and embrace a more genuine form of humility that transcends fashion trends and social expectations. True modesty is found in how we live our lives, how we treat others, and how we remain humble, no matter our outward circumstances.

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R.A. Sterling
R.A. Sterling

Written by R.A. Sterling

My name is Rhodes Ansel Sterling, author name R.A. Sterling. Themes: space colonization, the environment, and women’s rights. amazon.com/author/rasterling

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